Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
