Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
