I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
