Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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