My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
