He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
