Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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