i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
