if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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