I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
