You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
