So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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