i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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