If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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