He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
