4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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