I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
