doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize