I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
