Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize