Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Randomize
