I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
