youre lurking in front of me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
