yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
