a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
