So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
