Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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