I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
