I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
