apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sext me about skeletons
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
