Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
