My girlfriend figured out who you are.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
