So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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