i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
