As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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