My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
