She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
