Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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