I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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