My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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