He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
