can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
should my penis look like a turkey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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