WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
