Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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