so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
