i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
