I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize