Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize