I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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