You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
