Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
