note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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