The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
