i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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