things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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