thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
