I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
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You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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