Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
