i need an iv and a liver transplant
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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