I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
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Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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