I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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