I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
