Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
