So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I hate all girls vehemently.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I deserve this hangover.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
