I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!