it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need to calm my uterus...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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