The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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