yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
